Intruder alert
by InvisibleBrunette
Summary: When Batman's away, the boys will... Chase a what? Told from Alfred's view point. Please review, I'd love to know what you think! Any and all flames will be used to set Edward Cullen and the cast of Twilight on fire.


**Intruder Alert**

Disclaimer: Don't own Batman, Nightwing, Robin, Alfred, etc etc. DC Comics does. This is just for fun.

I have seen many of things in my many years at the Wayne manor. Good and bad. My name is Alfred Pennyworth, and I am here to tell you about a very intriguing intruder we encountered not to very long ago. Master Bruce had gone to Japan for business reasons leaving Master Dick and Master Timothy in charge of guarding Gotham until he returned. As usual I was dusting while listening to the boys playful banter which soon turned into a sparring match of sorts. It stopped after Master Dick got a bloodied nose. By the time I had come to assess the situation Master Dick already had it under control while the young Timothy profusely apologized.

"It was a good hit Tim" Richard said waving it off. "No big deal" then he gave a smile. More often than not referred to as, the 'Devil may care' smile. I must have been deeply in thought, because by the time I snapped back into reality the boys were staring at me as if I had grown a second head. I raised an eyebrow at the two of them and they looked away quickly. I mentally chuckled, that never failed. Master Richard stood after he had stopped the bleeding and headed over towards his favorite part of the 'Batcave' and started working out, I voiced my opinion about him doing that so quickly after a bloodied nose but he waved it off and had Master Timothy spotting for him. I shook my head and continued my dusting for another thirty minutes or so, in which time Timothy and Richard switched places and a silent alarm at Gotham City Bank went off. The boys quickly, as they say, 'suited up' and left to stop and tie up the would-be burglars. It ended quicker than normal, in about an hour. Both Richard and Timothy arrived on the motor-bikes and were in the showers when the cave's alarm went off. Master Tim was dressed already and was at the computer in a flash.

"What's going on?" Master Dick asked coming to my side in only a pair of gray sweat pants.

"Someone's in the cave" Tim explained. "They got in when we came back"

"I'll check it out" Dick said. I had half a mind to tell him to wear a shirt but he was gone before I had the chance. I mentally shrugged and walked up behind Master Timothy. I watched as he typed rapidly trying to find out who our intruder was when Master Dick's startled yelp echoed loudly. He ran into sight, with a shirt on now, he must have had it with him, and skidded to a stop.

"We need a net!" he exclaimed hastily.

"Well whatever for?" I inquired but my question was answered when a furry rodent ran past us. Master Tim's jaw dropped.

"Was that a raccoon!?" he asked for clarification. I nodded slowly, what a strange night this was turning out to be.

"Oh my heavens" I mumbled getting the nets the master had requested.

"Bruce will never believe this" Master Dick mumbled taking a net followed by Tim.

"He would if he was here" the younger retorted and grabbed the other. Master Dick laughed and went off to my left; Master Tim went to the right, while I went forward. We searched for about two hours when the front door bell decided to ring. I told the boys I would be back shortly and ascended the stairs.

---

I returned just as a loud crash and a yelp echoed through the cave. Knowing that something was the matter ,other than the rodent, that is. Without realizing it my pace quickened. I had to bite back a sigh when I saw both Masters in a tangled heap. I stood about five or o feet away and cleared my throat. Both sets of blue eyes looked at me.

"We need help" Master Dick admitted getting up from the floor and helping Master Tim up. I arched my eyebrows.

"Who do you presume Master Richard?" I asked. "Certainly we can't call an exterminator"

"No, but I know someone with a net, and a good aim" And so it began. Master Dick had phoned a friend. That friend was Roy Harper. And also he insisted that Master Bruce couldn't find out. As Master Dick hung up, he had a bit of an odd expression on his features.

"So what'd he say?" Master Tim asked earning a solid look from me because of his atrocious grammar.

"He's going to do it" the elder boy said.

"What's the catch?"

"There's not one. But he's going to try and hold it over me for something later. I just know it!"

"When shall we expect Master Roy sir?" I inquired, as Maser Tim went over to the Cray computer.

"He's in town with Lian. So thirty minutes tops" he told us with a shrug. Bu the doorbell rang a moment later.

"It's Roy" Master Tim alerted us from the Cray. Master Dick and I exchanged glances.

"Okay. Maybe not"

---

I had watched the entire time Masters Tim, Dick, and Roy went after the raccoon with Miss Lian. The whole thing looked like something from the three stooges. It had started with Master Roy catching the Batmobile, instead of the rodent that ran freely in front of them, followed by Master Tim falling flat on his rear barely missing the creature they so fondly called 'Bob'. Where they came up with that name I shall never know. Finally after watching Master Dick get caught in the nets, once by his brother, twice by his friend, Master Tim's grumbling about how he should have shoes on and Master Roy's rainbow vocabulary, to which Miss Lian didn't react to surprisingly, I had, had enough. With a strait back, I strode across the cave over to Master Roy, who was loading another arrow after catching Master Dick, /again/, and took it from his hands, aimed, then released. it found it's mark and caught 'Bob'. The looks on their faces is a priceless memory I hold dear. They still don't know Master Bruce has the entire endeavor on tape.

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A/N: I got the idea for this when I was watching an episode of The Batman ('Pets' I believe). Batman had gone out to fight Man-bat who was under The Penguin's control when a raccoon got into the batcave. I loved watching Alfred chase that little critter around. And it seemed right to make Dick and Tim chase one too. Let me know what you think.

-InvisibleBrunette


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